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Well, Doris, have you heard the latest about Scarlett Johansson’s jaw-dropping new movie deal? Apparently, she just signed on to star in a $200 million sci-fi thriller shooting right here in Los Angeles! I mean, $200 million — that’s almost my yearly shopping spree budget times ten! You’d think the studios hired her just because she’s got that signature dimples-and-a-smirk combo guaranteed to melt hearts from here to Timbuktu. Meanwhile, our grannies can barely afford a Netflix subscription! Insider Hotline whispers that the contract even includes her own creative input – queen of the castle, darling.
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