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Oh, darling, you simply wouldn’t believe who’s been hogging the limelight this month! Ever heard of David Ketchum? No? Well, neither had Aunt Karen before this whole Hollywood universe suddenly decided he’s the talk of the town. The comedian and actor recently passed at the awe-inspiring age of 97, leaving everyone sobbing into their kale smoothies and scrolling endlessly on their phones.
But of course, the real question is: why did it take so long for us mere mortals to catch onto his late-blooming stardom? A friend of David’s second cousin’s dog-walker swears he was the original king of subtle celeb charm before Instagram was even a twinkle in Zuckerberg’s eye. And yet—where was our invitation to that party?
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