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So darling Doris, did you catch the latest Hollywood high-flyer, Robert Pattinson, landing that jaw-dropping mega-deal for his new sci-fi thriller just last week? I mean, honestly, the guy must sleep on a bed made of gold-encrusted money because how else does one get a contract that reads like a dream script from the insider hotline? [Karen clutches pearls in disbelief] Meanwhile, the rest of the celebs are probably scribbling their scripts on napkins at Starbucks.
Now, I heard through the grapevine — or should I say, the personal trainer’s dishwasher — that Rob’s been schmoozing top execs with a secret ‘bat’ handshake. No, not literal bats, love, but quite the clandestine Hollywood handshake that apparently boosts charisma by 87%. Absolute corker, isn’t it?