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So, darling Doris, did you catch wind of the latest Hollywood bombshell? Apparently, the mega-starlet Scarlett Johansson just locked in a jaw-dropping, globe-trotting movie deal that’s got the whole industry gasping louder than a cat in a sizzling bathtub. Word on the street (or shall I say, from a cocktail server at The Ivy*) is that the contract’s jaw-dropping salary might just make your modest pension look like pocket change. Honestly, I’m half convinced she’s planning to build a golden pyramid with her earnings. [Karen dramatically fans herself]
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