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Doris, darling, have you seen the latest showstopper from none other than Scarlett Johansson? Yes, that Scarlett, the queen of glitz and glam, has inked a jaw-dropping deal with Marvel for not one, but TWO new blockbuster movies! I’m telling you, the whole of Tinseltown is positively green with envy.
According to an insider — which in our world means the barista with excellent ears from West Hollywood — Scarlett’s new deal is rumored to be worth a dazzling $150 million. Can you imagine? I mean, if I had that kind of dough, I’d buy every pair of diamond earrings in Rodeo Drive! Meanwhile, us mere mortals can only dream.
[Aunt Karen dramatically gasps] This is the kind of headline that ruptures friendships faster than a summer heatwave in Beverly Hills.
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